This past week, I spoke for a Jewish organization, here in our neighborhood. We discussed simple ways that we can teach children to be kind and responsible towards other. The basic premise was this: If we act kindly and responsibly towards others, so will our kids. We need to change ourselves, make ourselves better so that we can be a good role model for our children.
It sounds tough, but here are 2 easy ways to do this:
1. Look for the positive in others: Everyone had positive traits and we need to focus on these. Even if we are in a difficult situation with a difficult person we can focus on finding the positive in that person. It does not mean that we need to subject ourselves to this person indefinitely, but while we are trying to find a way to exit gracefully, we can use that time to see the good in this difficult person. It will make the interaction a bit more bearable.
If we try to see the positive in others it will be easier for our kids to do that as well.
2. Give the benefit of the doubt: To help us see the positive in others, it helps if we can give them the benefit of the doubt. So instead of thinking:
“My husband left his bowl in the sink, because he is inconsiderate!”
“My daughter is not cleaning her room because she is lazy!”
We need to think:
My husband is generally thoughtful, he must have been in a big rush this morning to leave his bowl in the sink like that.”
“My daughter is acting like a regular teen. Cleaning is not high on their list of priorities.”
In our next article, I hope to explore more ways for us to teach our kids to be kind and thoughtful to others.