We should never compare our kids to other kids or even their siblings – that’s a given.
Did you realize it is even more important that we do not compare ourselves to other parents?
We need to avoid the, “If only I parented like Sara, and had kids like Eli, everything would be great!”
Haim Ginott, an eminent psychologist in the 1960’s and 70’s addressed this issue in his parenting classes.
One mother was feeling badly because her child had asked her to volunteer to be the class mother and she told him no. She complained to Dr. Ginott:, “What’s the matter with me? Why can’t I be like other mothers?”
“A question like that only confuses. It presupposes that we should feel like other people. But we don’t. We’re not other people. We’re ourselves. You are you. We come back to the same thing again. We can only feel what we feel. And we really feel differently – each one of us does- not only about being class mother, but about everything. One mother loves to bake with her children, and another can’t stand having them underfoot in the kitchen: one loves gathering the little ones around to read aloud, another shudders at the thought. We each have our strengths and our limitations.”
Avoiding comparisons, and working from our own strengths helps us parent confidently.
Appreciating ourselves for who we are will allow us to give freely to our kids. It can serve as model to our kids to hone in on their talents and dreams and work from their own strengths and intuition.