I love Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s book: Raising A Spirited Child.
In her book she writes, “knowledge of temperament allows you to see a child’s negative response not as a threat to your authority but simply as a strong communication of his feelings. Predicting those feelings allows you to step into their world and work with them.”
I learned so much from this book. Mostly I learned that we cannot change or choose a child’s temperament or personality; it is innate. We can learn as much as we can about it. We can be our childrens guide in helping them understand their attributes and traits. We need to highlight their strengths and teach them the skills they need to manage themselves appropriately.
Kurcinka helps us understand this ideas through a simple exercise. She asks parents to do the following:
Write your name with your dominant hand:
Would you write a letter with this hand?
Now write your name with your non-dominant hand:
When I write my name with my dominant hand it feels:
Would you write a letter with this hand?
She then goes on to explain that, when you use your dominant hand you are more willing to a complete a task. When you are asked to complete the exercise with your non-dominant hand you are less willing or will not even consider trying to write a letter.
It is the same with personality and temperament. When our children are asked to perform activities with their non-preferred style (a high energy child being asked to sit the whole day or a low energy child being asked to be on the go the whole day) they will become frustrated, refuse to cooperate or even throw tantrums.
As parents we need to find ways to work with children’s preferred temperament and personality to ensure the highest chance of success, cooperation and motivation to learn.
If you have a “Spirited Child” and even if you don’t, I highly recommend this book. This teaches you so much about the way not only children work but adults too.
You can get this book here:
Have you read this book?
What do you think?
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