Resilient Kids: Promote Flexible Thinking

Thinking girlI am in the midst of doing research for a CEU course about promoting resilience in our children. The latest information that has me hooked on this topic is this:

One way to foster resilience in our kids is to aid them in thinking flexibly. This helps children become creative problem solvers. That means they will hopefully look for “out of the box” solutions in difficult situations. They will be more likely to view their big and small challenges as opportunities to grow and learn.

Here are ways to teach our kids to be flexible thinkers:

Role Model:
Kids don’t do as we say, they do as we do. When we think in flexible ways we can share our experiences with our kids. We can say:

“Today, I tried to write an article for work but I couldn’t think of any topics. So I took a walk, and read some other articles on line to get ideas. That did the trick. The article is finished .”

“The traffic was going to be awful today. So I decided to ride my bike to work.”

Use language with our kids that promotes flexible thinking:

“This puzzle piece is giving us a hard time. Let’s see if we can do this another way”
“Since we are allergic to chocolate, I wonder what would happen if we tried to make a different cake.”
“Let’s see what else we can do to help baby Sara calm down.”
“If we hold the dirty laundry in our hands we can hold only so much laundry. If we put the dirty laundry in the basket we could get all of it to the laundry room in one trip!”

Talk about our choices and options:

“I can wear my blue skirt or my denim one. I think I will go with the denim one. What will you be wearing today?”

“You can choose carrots or string beans for your vegetable. Which do you choose?

Let them know there are different ways more positive ways to look at situations:

“Sara wanted to stay home because her grandmother is visiting. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you anymore. She will play with you tomorrow when her grandmother leaves.”

“You really wanted to go the park today and now it is raining. It does give us an opportunity to cuddle on the couch and read our new library books.”

Adults who are able to think in flexible ways are happier and are able to roll with the punches of life more easily. Kids will benefit from parents teaching them some simple techniques to keep their thinking creative.

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