I didn’t do anything!
He started it!
I hate him!
Why did you have to have him in the first place?
I probably don’t need to tell you that those are the sounds of siblings and all their fighting. Unfortunately it sounds all too familiar to most people.
I know it is not new for me. I find the times when my kids are at each other throats to be the most challenging of parenthood. I can’t stand the noise, the tension and the emotional intensity of these encounters.
These are my initial reactions to the fighting:
“Oh no! Not again!”
“Can’t they just get along?”
“What is it now!”
So what can we do as parents to help us manage sibling rivalry? Here are 3 things that you should know about Sibling Rivalry to help you deal with the worst:
1. You are not alone:
Most siblings fight. Every family has to deal with conflict. It is one of the drawbacks of living with other people. The members of the most stable families will admit that they can get annoyed with their spouses and children. It is tough to get along with the people we live with.
Once we recognize that this is a universal challenge, we don’t feel quite as bad. Once we are able to move past the negativity we can figure out some techniques that we can use to help our family.
2. You just need to look for the peace:
It is also helpful to recognize the times when kids are not fighting. Most of the time, parents, including me, forget that kids actually do get along more times than they fight. (Yes, you can include the times when they are in separate rooms, playing with their friends, or even in school!) It is not all bad. There are lulls and those peaceful moments. The problem is that the fighting is usually pretty loud and annoying making it a lot more memorable.
Once we are able to focus on the positive aspects of our home, things look a lot brighter. We can then say with confidence, “This too shall pass…”
3. Children want to get along too..
Children just want their feelings acknowledged. Although it seems that they delight in getting their siblings mad, there is a part of them that wants to get along. Sometimes they just don’t know how.
Instead of getting angry with our kids for fighting we need to let them know that it tough to get along with the people we love. Letting them know that it is normal and they are not bad can go a long way in easing the tension in our homes.
Sibling Rivalry is one of the toughest issues parents need to deal with. Knowing it is part and parcel of parenting, looking for the peace and letting kids know that it is normal, can help.
Want to learn more ways to manage the Sibling Rivalry in your home?
You can buy our “How To Manage Sibling Rivalry Without Losing Your Mind” audios and get tons of information on the best way to deal with the sibling rivalry in your home.