Is your child constantly losing things? Does your child have trouble remembering to bring his books home from school? Is your child always searching for that elusive homework sheet? Does he/she constantly lose pens, pencils and other school supplies? Does their book bag look like a disaster area?
Some people are born organized and have no trouble managing their schedule or their stuff. Others are not so lucky. Their brains are not wired to handle all the different supplies they need for their life. Children like the ones described above are suffering from material mismanagement. They have trouble organizing the things that they need for required tasks. As these children mature the demands on their schedule grow. They have more activites to attend and more supplies to manage. It becomes more challenging for them to organize themselves and the materials they need for school as well as home. We also need to remember that in our modern times we have more possessions than previous generations. This makes it difficult for many people, even organized ones, to manage.
Children can be helped to organize themselves and their paraphernalia.
In a gentle and kind manner teach your children to:
1. Be consistent:
- Have one pocket in their backpack to keep their pens, pencils, scissors etc.
- Make sure to put house keys and cell phones in a separate pocket, only used for those 2 essential things.
- Put their homework away right after they are finished doing it.
2. Put a reminder note on their locker that says “Do you have all your need for homework?”
3. Clean out their binders and backpacks.
- Help your child go through their school stuff. Find ways to encourage and praise them.
Instead of:
“This is disgusting, no wonder you can’t find anything.”
Be Positive:
“This is getter cleaner and cleaner- we are making good progress”.
- Slowly phase out your help and have them clean out their backpacks and binders regularly by themselves.
4. Manage transition times.
Transition times are junctures when kids move from one activity or place to another. These times are particularly difficult for kids with material mismanagement. Common transition times are, leaving home to go to school, getting off the bus, changing classrooms, and starting or finishing homework. Kids get overwhelmed and distracted at these times and forget their stuff.
- Teach your child language to describe transition times.
- Affirm their feelings while they are moving through a transition:
- Teach your child to take a minute at each transition juncture:
“Do I have the stuff I need to finish the report that I have?”
5. Come up with their own ideas.
Always ask children their opinion on what they think would help them solve their problem. Kids can come up with some creative solutions. They are more likely to follow through and stick to their resolutions when they have suggested them.
- Ask them kindly:
“What do you think would help you remember your keys?”
“Do you have any friends who have similar problems? Did they ever tell you what they have done?”
Above all when you are trying to help your child make sure to:
Empathize and show respect for their eventual readiness:
“Getting organized can be tricky. Soon you will remember how to do it. Soon it will get easier.”
“If you have trouble getting organized its important to learn a few tricks. When you are ready to listen and discuss it, let me know and I’ll tell you what other kids have done in this situation.”
Remember these children are not disorganized on purpose. They are working at a serious disadvantage. With some kindness, understanding and guidance they can overcome these issues and learn coping strategies on how to handle their stuff in a more organized way.