Do you find that your child is nervous? Does he/she tend to get upset before going to school or complain of stomachaches? Do you experience difficulties getting your child to do simple things, like going to a friend, playing on the local soccer team, visiting the relatives or going swimming?
Your child may be experiencing some normal childhood anxiety. It is not easy managing a child who is apprehensive and worried. Here are some ideas that can help:
1. Stick To A Routine:
Children like to have a schedule. It gives them a feeling of stability and security. Having set times for meals, jobs, bath time, homework, reading and other activities can help an anxious kid. Children do better when they know what to expect. Although surprises sound fun children may find them stressful. Sudden changes in plan often leave children confused and nervous.
2. Family Rituals:
Children like to spend time with their families. They need and want attention from their parents. Try to have as many meals as you can together, dinner and even breakfast. Children love to get private time with their parents as well. Try to give your child your undivided attention at some point during the day. Many parents find that giving children some one on one at bed time works well.
3. Stick To Your Rules:
Children like their parents to be consistent. Parents who set limits and maintain them tend to have emotionally healthy kids. Children will fight the rules that parents set just so that they can see that their parents are tough enough to withstand their arguments. When parents give in, kids think that they are weak. Kids need reassurance that their parents are strong. They want to know that parents can keep them safe from the monsters under their bed and the bad guys in the street. Arguing with their parents about rules is one way that they test their parent’s mettle.
4. Don’t Feed Anxious Behavior:
When children become upset and frightened parents tend to deny their child’s fears. “You don’t need to worry about this test, you are so smart!” “Only babies think there are monsters under the bed!” “It’s no big deal that you don’t know anyone at camp. You will make friends in no time!” This makes children even more nervous. Instead we can give them a big hug and kiss to show we care. We can also acknowledge their feelings and show we have faith in their abilities to cope, “This is tough, I know you will find a way to handle this.”
5. Let A Kid Be A Kid:
Our children are being pushed harder and harder to excel in school, at sports, in music and any other extracurricular activity. Children are wilting under the pressure of their parent’s unrealistic expectations. It is a major cause of anxiety in kids of this generation. Parents need to scale back children’s activities and let children just be children.
6. Role Model:
If we are calm and optimistic about life there is a better chance that our children will be as well. Our children are rarely able to be more confident or relaxed then we are. When we make little mistakes, like burning a cake, misplacing keys or running late we should model appropriate responses. Instead of calling ourselves names and becoming frantic we can say in a place where our kids can overhear us, “This is too bad, mistakes happen. I will figure out a way this doesn’t happen again.”
7. Get Help:
Anxiety can hold children back from doing the things they want to do. Always be open to seeking professional help. Doctors and clinicians can give you insights that can benefit your child and bring you peace of mind.
Children in this day and age are more likely to be anxious. We need to make sure that they are getting the message that they are loved unconditionally. The best way to do that is to learn ways to communicate effectively with our children. Join our parenting workshops to learn skills and strategies to do just that.