I, like all other mothers, seem inordinately busy. I often feel stressed because there never seems to be enough time to get all the things I want to do done.
When I picked up the Wall Street Journal on Wednesday, I was immediately drawn to the headline “Too Busy? Or Just Right?: Stress Limit-O-Meter: Driven To Achieve More at Home and Work, Some Find a Sweet Spot; the Signs of Impending Overload.”
I am always searching for that sweet spot, consciously and unconsciously. I have always strived to maintain a work/life balance, sometimes I think I have it all together and sometimes I don’t (see above). I found this article to be helpful reminder of the things I should do to achieve that.
Here are a few of the important points that really popped out at me:
1. There are some people who can, mentally and physically manage, a lot of tasks and activities and seem to thrive when their schedules are packed. They are able to deal with stress better than most people.
2. Everyone’s tolerance for overload is different. That is why asking ourselves, “If she can do it all, why can’t I?” is besides the point and unhelpful. That also means that the sweet spot, that place where you have just the right amount of stuff to do at work, home and within your community, is different too.
3. Upbringing has a lot to do with how much a person is able to cope. Someone who has a lot of early nurturing, warmth and parents who encouraged resilience is usually better able to manage stress.
4. Signs of overload include, fatigue, shallow breathing, insomnia, tension in shoulders, frequent aches and pains, irritability and anxiety. For me, I describe overload simply like this: My brain is starting to hurt!
5. We need to start noticing the signs of overload and learn to scale back, and get to the “sweet spot”. It can be done by either by dropping an activity altogether or by substituting a stressful activity with an enjoyable one, like exercise or volunteering.
6. When asked to do a new task, we need to ask ourselves:
“If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?”
“This is another 2 hours out of my sleep. Is it worth it?”
Similarly, I always try to ask myself, “Is this going to make me yell at home?”