Dear Adina,
You told us to write of our challenges with our kids. Well here is our biggest issue:
Getting our little one to get into bed AND STAY IN BED at the proper bedtime. She is 2. This has been the impossible task for us! It is getting better, but it ALWAYS a struggle, every night. We stay with her just for so long at this point and forewarn her that Mommy and Daddy will not be staying until she falls asleep. So, at least 7 or more times, she jumps out of bed and walks out of her room. What can we do?
This is probably one of the toughest issues that I had as a parent. I would have just had it by bedtime and I had very little patience for this behavior. However, kids need to be trained to go to sleep and stay in their bed. So, you need to view this time as a training period. You are teaching them a new behavior. Unfortunately, it takes toddlers a while to get it.
Here are 2 strategies that worked for me:
1. Stick to a schedule:
I am sure you know this but it is worth repeating. Have a set bedtime routine. Except for holidays and special occasions, you want to keep it predictable. You can give them a bath, get into pajamas, brush teeth, read one book,(My husband would have the energy for two books, but not me!) a drink in a sippy cup, 5-10 minutes of cuddling, kiss and hug.
During the day or at dinner or even when they get into the bath, review the schedule. You can even sing it:
Now we are taking a bath, then we are going to get into pajamas, then we are going to brush our teeth. We read one book and we have cuddle time for 5 minutes (you can show them your watch, and tell them when the big hand gets to the one it is time for me to go.)
Try to keep your tone positive, and upbeat, instead of annoyed. Easier said then done, I know.
2. Reward their behavior:
It was suggested to me that I give my child a piece of paper to take with him to bed and tell him that for every minute he stayed in bed he would get a sticker on his paper. I was also to follow it up with some positive reinforcement, “You stayed in bed!” (If your child is very impulsive you can do it for 30 seconds.)After they mastered the one minute, you can go longer, every 2 minutes, 3 minutes, etc.
The first time, I gave my child a piece of paper and explained what was to happen. I stayed right outside the room. As soon as I saw him wiggling out of bed,(even before the one minute was up) I would run in before he got out of bed and say, “You stayed in bed for a whole minute! You get a sticker!”
Within two nights he was sleeping in his bed without coming out.
This technique did not sit so well with me, because I don’t love immediately rewarding kids for their behavior.
But it worked and I was desperate!
To be continued…
Hope this helped,
Good Luck,
Adina