I was talking with my daughter the other day while we were driving in the car. We had the quintessential parenting conversation.
This was how it went:
D: “Mom, I love teaching K. (our neighbor) how to play soccer.”
Me: “I know you really like to play with and teach young kids.”
D: “Well of course, I am going to be a teacher!”
Me: “You have mentioned many times that you would like to be a teacher.”
D: “Do you think I will be a good teacher?”
Me: “I think you will be a great teacher!”
D: “You are just saying that because you are my Mom!” (So well said!)
Me: “That could be true, but why do you think you would be a good teacher?”
D: “Because I like bossing little kids around?”
Me: “Well, you want to look at all the things you like to do, then you can see yourself whether or not you will be a good teacher. So you like to teach K. soccer, you like to babysit babies and young kids, when you babysit the Mom’s usually thank you and ask you to come back again. Those are all clues to help you understand that you can be a good teacher one day.”
D: “I guess you are right!”
There is the proof. Kids know we think the world of them and they don’t like our platitudes about how wonderful and great they are. They always think in the back of their head, “Yeh, but you are my Mom, so of course you are going to think I will be a great teacher!” What they really need and want are descriptions and pictures of their strengths and capabilities:
“You enjoy painting and your art teacher has commented to you on your use of color.”
“You took care of Alfie when he was sick. The vet, was impressed with what you did.”
This is the best way to build a child’s self-esteem and help them understand their strengths and let them actualize their dreams.