Chores are a frequent source of conflict in families.
You might be wondering if you should even give your kids chores because it seems like such a hassle to get them to do it in the first place and then make sure that it was done right. And everybody is so busy, it’s hard to even find the time to stay home and get the chores done! Read on to learn why your kids need chores and how to get them involved without nagging.
However, giving your kids chores is one of the most important lessons that you can teach them as a parent. Kids who grew up doing chores understand the responsibility and life skills that will serve them throughout their lives.
And believe it or not, chores offer families a chance to bond. Working side by side together is a great way to foster natural conversation and create special moments together that they’ll be able to look back on.
How to Get Started With Chores
Create a chore chart
Make a list of what needs to be done around your home and yard, and then create a chore chart. Remember to consider your child’s age and ability to be sure that the task is something that they can do.
Show them how to do it
Don’t just tell them to do it, demonstrate how to do it the right way. When something needs to be done, just have them help you.
Praise them when they’re done
This is when you want to praise them for their effort, not belittle them because something wasn’t done the exact way that you wanted.
Positive Communication Strategies to Reduce Family Stress
Instead of saying “ I can’t believe I have to set the table again, I get no help around here!”
State your feelings (use “I” statements)
“I get really frustrated and feel under appreciated when I ask for help setting the table and no one helps”
Give choices
“Are you available to put out the cups or the silverware?”
Give information
“This job gets done quicker when we all chip in and help”
Problem solve
“Every night we seem to be having problems with getting the table set. What ideas do you have that would make this job easier for you?”
When Your Child Is Having Trouble Cleaning Up
Give information and a choice: “Legos belong in the toy chest. Which color legos would you like to pick up, the blue or the red ones?
Use humor “Let’s pretend we are vacuum cleaners and clean this all up in 2 minutes- are you ready, set, go…..”
Problem solve. “There are so many toys around here. It seems that every night we have trouble cleaning it up. Let’s put our heads together and see if we can come up with some solutions for this that would make everyone happy.”
Focus on the positive
“You picked up one toy- we are off to a great start, only a few more left.”
Helping kids help you is not easy. These tactics should help you get started on the right foot.
For more successful communication techniques, check out my 6-part course, Parenting Simply 101 available for purchase now!
References:
Faber, Adele and Elaine Mazlish. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, Avon Books, 1980