In our previous post, we spoke about how kids behavior is not usually bad but normal developmentally appropriate behavior. We can use this principle when we speak about pre-toddlers and toddlers who “get into everything!” and “never listen!”
It is helpful to realize that young children have a very real need to investigate their world. They are usually do not mean to be bad when they head towards our antique crystal vase collection and our newly organized pantry closet.
There are some simple ways to help parents of young children, pre-toddlers and toddlers listen. We can do this while still taking into consideration the fact that this age group has a very real need to explore their world. It is helpful to also recognize that they need help listening to adults and learning rules.
There are a few strategies that we can use to help us get through this trying phase:
Trade
This one is pretty simple. (I do want to recognize here that simple is relative when we are exhausted from trailing after a toddler all day.)We can substitute another toy or object for the one the child should not be playing with. So you can take away the crystal vase and replace it with a toy train.
Take action
It also helps if we don’t just say “no” while we continue to sit on the couch. (Oh, my beloved couch, how I loved you when my children were small. You lovingly supported my tired body so many times!) You actually need to get up and say “no” at the same time. Synchronization of verbal and visual cues is critical in getting your message across. It tells your child that you are serious. Children have this uncanny ability to sense how long you will call their name or say “no” before you actually do something. That means they will continue to do the forbidden act until you take action, i.e. get up from the couch. Ergo, a child will continue to play with the crystal vase you got from Aunt Edith, until you actually come and take it away.
Distract
Similar to trading objects you can try to distract the child before they get to the forbidden item. So for example, if you see the child heading for the crystal vase you can say, “Sam, look here, look here, we have a train!”
Change the environment
It is always helpful to remember that children need child-friendly surroundings or activities to keep them busy. If you are going to a doctor’s office then it is helpful to have toys or books for the wait. If you have breakable objects around the house, you may want to remove them until children are older.
There you have it. Some very simple ways to help you help your toddler listen!
Want to learn more? Get our Parenting Simply audios here!
Levine, L.M. (1988) Dealing With Negative Behavior. Ed. Margaret Schrader. Parenting Articles: Enhance Parents Involvement In Language Learning. AZ: Communication Skills Builders