My friend just sent me this great video that sends us a humorous message about reflective listening. Sometimes we learn best through laughter.. So what is the video all about? Most people do not need us to fix their problems- they really just want us to listen. In an old post, Resilience: Teaching Kids To Help Themselves, we discussed this. For example:
If your child says:
“I can’t do this research paper!”
Don’t try to fix it: “You should complain to the teacher, maybe I will give him a call.You should not have to do this ridiculous assignment.”
Don’t try to make him feel better: “It is not so bad, once you get started it will be real easy!”
Don’t try to save him: “I will help you.I am really good at science.”
Instead you can try the following:
Empathize by just listening and reflecting: “You seem concerned about your schoolwork. You sound apprehensive.”
Give them their wishes in fantasy: “You are wishing you didn’t have to do this report.” “You wish research papers weren’t so time consuming.”
Empathize and gently ask them their plans: “Sounds rough, did you have some thoughts on how you can get organized?”
Now for the video! Enjoy: