” I have nothing to wear!” can probably be heard in many households across America on most mornings of the week.
A common dialogue goes like this:
Many parents make the mistake of getting involved in the drama, when it is better to watch kindly from the sidelines. When we try to solve our children’s problems for them we lead ourselves right into a trap called “The Power Struggle”. When we enter into a power struggle there are no winners. In my classes I teach a variety of communication skills that help us avoid the downward spiral into conflict.
If your child can hear you, you can end off the conversation by reflecting your child’s feelings and affirm your belief in their ability to solve there own problems. Something like, “ Picking out clothing can be a challenge, but I have faith that you will figure out some sort of solution. Good luck! I will be in the kitchen rooting for you.”
The clever communication techniques outlined above help us in many ways. It allows us to maintain our dignity and the dignity of our children. Respecting our children’s feelings even about the seemingly small things in life shows them that we value them and their needs. Our relationship with our children remains unharmed. Children are also gently encouraged to act responsibly and take ownership of their problems. Power struggles are avoided; peace and harmony will reign.