It is often lamented that children are misbehaving more and more. Whining, tantrums, back talk are the norm. Parents are often at a loss on how to manage their children’s negative behavior and struggle to set limits and stick to their rules. Most adults would agree that they are uncomfortable asserting authority in their home and disciplining their children
All is not lost. We can discipline our children. There are effective communication skills that we can use. One way is to make sure to accept our children’s feelings and then use the word “Nevertheless” to enforce the rule or limit. This allows us to assert our authority kindly, gently and firmly. Children listen better when their feelings are heard; it helps them maintain a semblance of dignity.
Here are some examples: (You can repeat these phrases as many times as is necessary)
Accept feelings and say “Nevertheless”:
“I see that you are really having a hard time turning off the T.V. Nevertheless, T.V. time is over.”
“I know it’s hard to share, Nevertheless, these toys are for everyone.”
“You seem very upset about not being allowed to go to the mall with your friends, Nevertheless, in this house 12 year olds go to the mall with their parents.”
“You are having a very hard time with bedtime and you seem very sad, Nevertheless, bedtime is 7pm sharp.”
To learn more ways to communicate effectively with your child, join us for our informative and inspirational parenting workshops. To find out when the next one will be held, take a look at our workshop schedule.
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