In our last post we answered the following question from a Parentingsimply.com fan:
My daughter is often complaining about her day in school. She seems to do well academically and has friends. She just seems to take things to heart and does not seem to be able to cope with life.
I vacillate between saying, “You shouldn’t worry, you are smart and a good friend” and “You complain about everything and need to stop.” Nothing seems to work. Any ideas on what I can do to help her stop complaining and start coping?
We spoke about the fact that, most kids whine and complain about school and it can be frustrating for parents. And that the best thing to do when our children speak like this is to just empathize and gently ask “What can you do?”
We said that this shows children that we feel for them and that asking the question “What can you do?” gives her the message that she is capable of managing her own problems.
There is another very similar technique we can use to help our kids cope with the difficulties they experience at school, Empathize and ask, “What will work for you?”
Here is what its sounds like:
Daughter: My partners are so much better than me. They don’t like it when I am in their group!
Mom:“ “Seems like you are feeling a bit down on your math skills. What do you think will work for you?”
Daughter: “I only get a 75 anyway! What is the point in trying?”
Mom: “You sound disappointed with your grade. Sounds like you would like to bring your grade up. What do you think would work for you?”
In our next post we will talk about one more technique that we can use to help our kids cope.
Adina
We are getting ready for our next A+ Solutions webinar.
Come join Favi Becker,Psy. S. NCSP, on August 25th, 8-9PM, as she teaches you all about making sure your kids are ready for the new school year. Let’s start the school year off on the right foot!
Click here to sign up:
Ready, Set, Go: Start The School Year Off Right!