Our family has a few sayings that help us get through some of the every day rough patches that we have. When our kids were young we would say them in a sing song kind of way, the tone that most parents use when talk ing to little children.
As my kids got older, I wondered if I had to stop using those maxims that were so helpful in diffusing conflicts, encouraging problem solving and foster respectful speech. But I found that just changing the tone a bit and making it sound a bit more humorous, they still can stop our little conflicts from spiraling out of control. Frankly, they have become a bit of a family joke, but even so they still work!
So when our kids start accusing each other about who lost the pump for the basketball, I can still say:
“We don’t accuse we focus on solutions!”
They usually then stop and try to figure out which neighbor probably borrowed it last.
For that matter, when I start to accuse, “Who left out the milk?” I can use that phrase as well and usually just ask someone to put it away without all the blaming.
When someone spills the juice, or bumps into their sibling by accident, we can still say in a bit of a goofy tone:
“It is a good thing we are a family that celebrates mistakes!”
When our kids tease each other because of something they don’t know, “I can’t believe you don’t know how what epidermis means!” I can still say:
“We are a family that encourages questions!”
These are just some of the phrases that can work magic in diffusing conflicts, encouraging problem solving and respectful speech. They might sound silly but they work for young kids and can be used tongue in cheek with older kids too.