Often times parents complain that their kids are not listening to them. As I have mentioned in many different posts on my website, it is not easy for kids to listen.
It is even harder for kids who are more perceptive and distractible. We can call these kids daydreamers, or even visionaries. These kids often notice everything around them. They have trouble processing, they often have a hard time tuning information out to find out what messages are important. They will go off to get dressed and never come back. They seem to never listen, can be spacey, have trouble following directions and finishing tasks.
But these children have an ability to perceive that gives them an understanding and insight beyond their years. They can have great senses of humor. Comedians are generally perceptive. They take regular everyday things and make them funny. It is helpful to tell our perceptive children that they are observant, and aware; that they could be a scientist or an investigator.
They also need a bit more support in helping them listen. One technique that works with perceptive/distractible kids is using CAN DO directions, instead of DON’T DO directions. The less words we use, the easier it is for them to process the message.
Here are some examples:
Instead of: Don’t put your feet on the table
Try: Feet on the floor
Instead of: Don’t go in the street
Try: Stay on the sidewalk
Instead of: Don’t be naughty!
Try: Hands to yourself!
Instead of: Don’t be so loud!
Try: Inside voice
Instead of: Don’t be obnoxious
Try: Listening ears on!
Instead of: Don’t be messy
Try: Toys in the bin
Using CAN DO messages doesn’t just work for our perceptive/distractible kids, it is a great technique to use with all children- even teens.
Try it and let us know what you think!
Comment below:
Adapted From: Raising Your Spirited Child, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka