As a Mom, I find that there is usually not enough time in the day to do the things that need to get done. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, carpooling to school and shuttling to afterschool activities can be overwhelming. But if we have kids we have built in helpers and it is beneficial to all if kids lend a helping hand.
That is all well and fine. We would love to have our kids help out. The problem is that when we ask them to do take out the garbage, clear their plates, or rake the leaves, they whine and complain and find every excuse to shirk their duties.
As parents this is hard to take. We would rather just do it ourselves then subject ourselves to their bad behavior.
But we shouldn’t let the whining and complaining stop us from getting the help we need. Not only will we have less to do, but really kids feel quite proud of themselves when they act as a responsible member of their family unit.
Here are 3 simple ways to help you put a stop to the whining and complaining and get your kids working:
1) Try to overlook the whining and complaining:
It is natural for kids to try every trick in the book to get out of doing what they are asked to do. Don’t get bogged down in arguments and lectures:
“I can’t believe you, I ask you to do one thing and all you do is complain and whine!”
Just repeat your request kindly and firmly.
“I hear how much you dislike taking out the garbage. The garbage needs to be taken out now.”
2) Be Proactive:
As we all know in sports, the best defense is an offense. It works in parenting too. So it would be even best to preempt your initial request with:
“I need some help and I don’t have time for complaints. If you want, we can discuss the problems you are having with taking out the garbage, after dinner.”
3) Use Pat Phrases:
You might also want to have some standard lines to help you get through the rough spots.
When kids say:
Why do I always have to clean up?
I always clean up. She never cleans up!
You can answer:
“In this family we help each other”
“This family works together to get household jobs done.”
“Daddy and I try to give everyone in this family what they need.”
“Sometimes you do more, sometimes she does more. That is how it works”
“The jobs are divided as fairly as we can, according to your age and ability.”
Or a mix of the last 2:
“I try to make the jobs as fair as possible; sometimes you get more to do and sometimes your siblings get more to do.”