We just finished our fifth class in our 6 week series: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk workshop at Fuchs Mizrachi School, in Cleveland.
Courtney Evenchik a Who’s The Boss parenting coach and I are enjoying our jobs as facilitators of this great class.
In the fifth class of the series, we talked about how to praise our kids the right way. Kids can feel uncomfortable when they hear lots of evaluative praise, “Good job!” “You are the best.”
Instead we want to use descriptive praise, describing what we see, how it made us feel or just summing it up with a word:
“You put out the knives, forks and spoons. That was responsible.”
“You put on your shirt, pants, socks and shoes. You got dressed!”
“Thanks for making the salad, the noodles and then serving dinner. I appreciated your help and hard work tonight. It gave me the break that I really needed..”
Praising our kids in this way helps build their self-esteem in powerful ways, you are more likely to see repeated positive behavior.
There were lots of thought provoking questions in this class. We also had a discussion on how to avoid always complimenting our girls about their outward appearance. Instead we want to focus on their positive attributes and true capabilities.
One parent recounted an article that she had read. In it a parent wrote, that when her friends would see her young daughter they would generally say things like, “You are so cute”, “I love your dress, it is so pretty!” Her daughter would become bashful and uncomfortable. Then one time, an adult asked her daughter, “What books are you reading?” Her daughter came alive and was able to have a conversation about her favorite books.
Stay tuned for next weeks recap!
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