We just finished our last class in our 6 week series: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
workshop at Fuchs Mizrachi School, in Cleveland.
Courtney Evenchik a Who’s The Boss parenting coach and I are enjoying our jobs as facilitators of this great class.
In the sixth class of the series, we talked about how to free our children from their negative or even their positive roles. For example, kids who are always told their smart or responsible, feel pressured to live up this role. They may feel if they get a bad grade or they forget to put away their laundry they are “bad.” They might only feel loved if they are acting smart and responsible.
We also spoke about freeing children from their negative roles, i.e. mean, irresponsible, scared. As parents we tend to focus on what our kids are doing wrong, but we can change that. We can focus on all the times they are nice, responsible, and brave. We can remind them about it.
So, instead of saying:
“Stay away from your baby sister. You are so rough with her!”
“You always grab toys from your friends!”
“You are so greedy! You always take all the cookies and never leave any for your brother!”
We can say:
“Remember yesterday when you brought me a diaper to change your baby sister. That was being kind. You can also learn how to touch her gently…”
“I saw that you wanted to show Eli your new toy. You let him hold it and play with it.”
“Sara, there are 3 more cookies left. Can you call Sam and check if he wants any of them before you finish?”.
When we focus on our child’s positive behavior, we help build pictures for them of their strengths and capabilities.
We touched on a few other points:
- How to build up our kids so that they are impervious to teasing
- How to manage sibling rivalry
- Stop labeling our kids, troublemaker, wild, messy
The moms in our group had thoughtful questions, inspiring stories of how they applied new parenting skills and a sense of fun. How is that for descriptive? I truly enjoyed this group.
Can’t make it to our class in Cleveland? You can learn this and more from our Parenting Simply audios.
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You can also sign up for our free email course:
7 Ways To Help Your Kids Listen In 7 Days
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