When my kids ask me permission to do something that I am uncomfortable with, I want to immediately say “No way!” But because I am a very cautious person by nature, I hesitate. I know that I need to take their request seriously. I need to take some time to think it over. I say,
“I need to think about this. I feel like saying NO. I need to talk it over with Daddy. Maybe he will have a different perspective.”
Kids are able to accept this type of answer. They feel that it is fair. It also might be because my husband is usually more permissive than I am.
Telling kids, “I need to think about this..” is a valuable parenting tool. There are 2 more benefits to using this technique when you parent:
1. Shows respect:
It is always a good idea to take your kid’s requests seriously. Even if you know you will probably say no, it lets them know that you respect what they have to say. It lets them know that they deserve a well thought out answer.
2. Helps avoid power struggles:
If a child feels very strongly about what it is he wants to do, he will be ready to fight for it. He will have all his arguments ready. If you let him know that you need to think about it, you will both have time to calm down. You can fortify yourself for the possible battle and give yourself a pep talk and how you can and will stick to your rules. This can help you avoid a power struggle.
Can you think of any more benefits to using this great parenting technique?
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