Do you have an independent kid? Do you try to tell them what to do and they don’t seem to listen?
The easiest way to work with your independent child and gain their cooperation, is to give them choices.
Choices help kids feel that they have some control over their lives. We can offer choices to kids so they have some say in deciding household rules and we can also give them choices on how they take care of themselves. Choices are good for children because it gives them lots of practice in making big and little decisions.
Here are some simple ideas and examples on how to offer children choices:
To encourage a feeling of autonomy:
Would you like a sandwich or pizza for lunch?
Do you want to make the sandwich or should I?
Would you like to ride your bike or take a walk over to the park?
To encourage involvement in making rules:
When is a good time for you to set the table?
Would you like to say excuse me or pardon me when you leave the dinner table?
What is a good amount of time for computer use for kids?
To encourage kids to take care of themselves:
Do you want to take a bath or a shower?
Do you want to use bar soap or baby soap?
Do you want to get a blue or green toothbrush?
To encourage decision making:
Do you like the blue or clear bowl?
Do you think Grandma would like flowers or a gift card for her birthday?
What should we make for dinner, chicken or noodles?
Kids like to have choices because it makes them feel in charge. When kids are offered choices they feel respected, valued and encouraged.