The key to reinforcing good behavior in children is to “look for the good.” Train yourself to see good even in the little things your child does. Mention it to them in a neutral and gentle manner. According to Jewish thought “One good deed leads to another good deed.” That is true in parenting as well. If we compliment our children on their good behavior, even the smallest act on their part, we will get more positive behavior.
Here are some examples:
“You were not in the mood to go to your brother’s baseball game, but you asked Daddy if you could use his ipod. You felt that would help keep you busy if you got bored- you figured out a solution”.
“You remembered to prepare your shoes tonight instead of scrounging around for them tomorrow.”
“There are so many times when you read or learn something new in school and it excites you. You usually go to the library or look online to find out more about the subject. You know what to do when you find a subject that you enjoy. You like to learn more about things that interest you.”
“You cleaned up the toys and only complained once that you didn’t make the mess. The rest of the time you cleaned up quietly.”
“You were upset that you could not get a toy at the grocery store. You asked once, I said no and you did not ask again. You were able to accept the no gracefully.”
“You were looking for paper to color on. You made sure to ask me first if the paper next to the printer was something I needed for work or if it was scrap that you could use.”
For more great tips on how to parent more effectively, join our workshops or listen to our recordings.
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Adina