Ever just had a bad day where everything you say or do seems to be wrong?
Are there days where you just seem to be in slow motion?
We all experience days like that. Low states and bad moods are an annoying but intrinsic part of life.
I call these types of days, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible and No Good Day” days.
If we are going the literary route, I will also call myself Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh- you know the donkey with a rain cloud perpetually over his head…
No one really wants to be around Alexander or Eeyore. On days like these, I don’t even want to be around myself 🙂
Bad moods can also be contagious. If you have a sensitive kid- they pick on their mother’s cues so easily. If your in a bad mood- it can effect that child too.
In general, if you’re happy, your kids will be happy, if you’re sad, your kids will be sad. No pressure- its just the way it works.
So what can we do?
- It’s just a bad mood: As I mentioned above, waking up on the wrong side of the bed, is just a part of life. We don’t want to take ourselves so seriously on those days. We often get angry at ourselves which just makes it worse. We will blame and accuse, (ourselves) and our family members. Things can spiral out of control! It’s best if accept our low state, and acknowledge it without any judgments and be kind, nurture ourselves and be empathetic (yes, even with ourselves!) Here’s what that can look like:
Blaming: “What is wrong with me, why am I so cranky, just snap out of it.”
Empathizing and Accepting: “Seems like I am having a rough day, I am in a low state, nothing to worry about, I will snap out of it soon.”
Instead of blaming others we can recognize how our bad moods affect our perceptions of people:
Blaming others: “Why do my kids have to be so loud. They are so annoying and rude.”
Recognizing our low state: “I must be in a really bad mood, everything they do or say is annoying me. Even the things that they do regularly that I usually don’t notice.”
2. Be really nice to you:
It’s at this time, when we are so annoyed with ourselves that we do something that gives us vitality and energy. This should be something that you love to do. It doesn’t have to be anything big, it actually should be something that doesn’t require too much energy on your part. For myself, curling up with a good book, a walk outside, talking to a close friend or having an ice cream cone (coffee ice cream with rainbow sprinkles) will do the trick. I know other people like to go out shopping and buy themselves a little gift. For others, sitting down with a puzzle, having their favorite tea or even putting on their favorite sweatshirt can be just as comforting.
Knowing what you need to pull yourselves out of a funk is an important part of self- knowledge and can be a life saver if your bad mood persists.
3.Remove yourself:
Sometimes just being alone can help with some quiet can help. Give yourself a time out.Take a break, go to your room, or hide in the bathroom for a few minutes.
Gently, let your family know that you are in a bad mood, “Guys, I am not sure what is going on- Everything is just annoying me! I am going to go take a break and see if I can pull myself together!”
My friend said that her husband taught her this. He is generally a pretty happy person, but there were times where he would say, “Can we have the conversation another time? I am not in the best mood and I don’t think anything we talk about now will be productive.”
If truth be told, this is a great way to role model, to your children how to best handle being in a bad mood.
4. Practice mindfulness:
This is the time to practice any mindfulness technique that you know:
- Do some deep breathing exercises
- Write in your gratitude journal (I just started one and its going pretty well!)
- Scream silently (I know this sounds weird but it works- do it where your kids cannot see you- you look a bit crazy doing it.)
5. Watch a funny movie:
Seriously! Laughter works. Even just forcing yourself to smile sends signals to your brain to release endorphins- the feel good hormone. You don’t have even have to watch a whole movie. There are some really funny clips out there on YouTube that can perk you up in seconds