Kids can feel overwhelmed when studying for tests and doing their homework and they often don’t even know where to start. It is the same for adults, when we need to tackle a big project for work(this article) or even at home(the storage closet in the basement).
It does not help to criticize our kids:
“Your being lazy, you just need to buckle down and do it!”
“If you wouldn’t procrastinate so much, it would be done!”
Instead we can encourage our kids and give them the skills that they need to overcome their initial feelings of helplessness.
We can empathize with them:
“When I have a tough assignment, I know the hardest part is getting started…”
We can share strategies that have worked for us:
“Sometimes I think of a reward that I will give myself for doing a half hour of work, and that gets me started.”
We can remind them of the times in the past where they succeeded:
“Yesterday, I saw you were having trouble with your homework, you went outside and played for a bit, and then you came in and got down to work…” (Sometimes kids and adults need some physical activity to get focused.)
“Do you remember your science project last year? You had such a hard time figuring out what to do. You finally set everything up on the dining room table, got all the supplies together and then you were able to get started…”
We can also invite them to come up with solutions:
“Do you remember what you have done in the past to get you started with your homework?”
“What strategies did you use the last time you had to study for your math test?”
We need to be our children’s cheerleaders and encourage them when they are feeling discouraged about their school work. Empathizing, sharing strategies, reminding them of their past successes and gently inviting them to come up with their own solutions, can help.