When my daughter was 5 years old she needed to have minor surgery. To prepare her, we read an excellent book,
“Franklin Goes To The Hospital” by Paulette Burgeouis and Brenda Clark.
In the book, Franklin, a turtle, got hit with a ball while he was playing soccer He needs to get his “shell” fixed and requires a surgical procedure. During the days leading up to the operation his friends and family keep on telling him how brave he his. When he gets to the hospital on the day of his surgery, the nurse tells him that they need to take an X-ray. Franklin a normally mild mannered turtle refuses and starts to cry. The nurse asks him what is wrong. He said, (and I paraphrase):
“Everyone has been telling me how brave I am. But if you take a picture of my insides you will see that I am very scared. I am not brave at all.”
The nurse calmly explains to him:
“Franklin, everyone gets scared, especially before a surgery. Doing that what you have to do even though you are scared to do it, that is what makes you brave.”
That really hit home. It is so true. We think that bravery is something you have or don’t have but really, courage, is doing what we need to do despite being scared. It is about persevering in the face of fear.
This is an important lesson to give over to our kids. Children in this modern age have many fears and and they need stories and practical advice to help them cope. So even though my kids are older now we still reference the Franklin book. I tell my kids, “Remember, being brave and doing brave acts does not mean that you were never scared. It means that you were scared but you did what you had to do anyway.”
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