Since November we have been discussing the processes of Executive Functions and how difficulties in these areas impacts children and the adults who care for them. In the past few weeks we have spoken about how help children manage their difficulties in the area of Executive Functions. We spoke about giving children choices, some control, helping them process directions, limit over scheduling, singing, praising organized behavior and developing routines. Again, the next tip seems so basic, but it still needs to be said:
6. Don’t use negative labels
Anyone working with children has fallen into the trap of labeling children and placing them in roles. Somehow it gives us a sense of control over children: to have them figured out. “She is the stubborn one,” “He is so bossy,” “That one is so slow.” Children who have difficulties in the area of Executive Functions often hear, “Forget about him, he will always be disorganized.” The fact is everyone has positive and negative traits. If we only focus on the negative, even in a joking way, we reinforce the negative behavior and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We can do two things to reinforce positive behavior in a “disorganized” child or any child labeled negatively.
• Find a positive label. Even a euphemism, i.e., “goes with the flow ” or “free thinker” or in place of “disorganized” can change how we view a child and can have a positive impact behaviorally.
• Start reinforcing positive behavior using a positive label.
7. Get some rest
Parents need to take care of themselves too. Dealing with a child with executive function difficulties can be exhausting. Parents need to be on their toes mentally and physically. It is hard to think about managing behavior creatively and effectively when you are tired and overwhelmed. Parents need to take breaks and get a good night’s sleep.
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