Misbehavior is always difficult to deal with. As I mentioned many times before, a child’s behavior usually has a good reason behind it. When they misbehave by having a tantrum, talking back or not doing what they are told they are trying to send you a message. They don’t have the language they need to convey:
“I am confused and I need help”
“I’m hungry.”
“I’m sick.”
“I’m mad/sad/scared.”
“I don’t like this and want to quit.”
“This situation is too much for me.”
“I don’t want to stop doing what I am doing [for example, favorite activity].”
“I’m not sure what happens next.”
When we react strongly to a child we are missing the message. We can correct their behavior in more positive ways and remain a positive influence at the same time.
Keep Your Cool
The most important thing to keep in mind when your child misbehaves is to remain calm. One benefit of staying calm is that you are actually teaching your child how to act in stressful situations!
Don’t Give Too Much Attention to Misbehavior
Children often act out because they are looking for attention, whether positive attention or otherwise. If yelling or throwing a tantrum proves to be a good way to get your attention, they will undoubtedly keep doing it whenever the mood strikes them!
Be Sure to Take Notice of Good Behavior
Most of the time, children react very positively to encouragement and approval. So be sure that you praise your children for good habits and behavior, so that they feel like they’ve done a good job. Another benefit is that praise also makes your child feel more capable, which is good for self-esteem. If your child doesn’t receive encouragement or attention from positive actions, he may turn to misbehavior in order to feel noticed.
Stay Firm
Usually, when parents clearly and firmly demand that their child do something, that child generally knows that there are no other options! But this isn’t always the case. Remember to use a calm tone of voice when speaking with your child. Let him know that you mean what you say.
If your child tries to talk you into changing your mind, calmly tell him that it isn’t up for discussion and he needs to do as told. Of course, being firm doesn’t mean yelling or being mean to your children. Stand firm and don’t give in to them. Eventually they’ll give up on trying to sway you at every opportunity.
Learn to Accept Mistakes
We all make mistakes. It’s part of the growing up process. As adults, we still make mistakes ourselves! It’s important to remember that kids are not miniature grown-ups and lack much of the knowledge and experience that many adults have picked up over the years.
Misbehavior is never fun, but it is a perfectly normal part of being a kid and to be expected. By teaching and modeling to your child how to improve his behavior, instead of just yelling at them, you help to make sure they understand what they can do to behave better from that point forward.
As parents, it’s our role to teach our children how to navigate the world around them. When we’re too harsh or negative, we can adversely affect their attitude and outlook and worse, they may do the same to their kids when they become parents themselves! So say firm, patient and positive and your kids will develop positive habits too.