In a previous post, I spoke about the right way to praise kids. This is one of the hardest skills for me to learn. I know many parents in my classes have asked for more examples on how to use this technique.
You ask and I try to deliver. The key to praising effectively is to just describe what you see without any judgment. As if you are asked to objectively describe a scene playing out in front of you.
Here are some more ideas on how to use this skill:
On the playground:
“When Sara wanted to play with the swings you got off and gave her a turn.”
About school:
“This report card reflects effort and hard work.”
At the grocery store:
“You put the groceries on the checkout counter, loaded the packages in the car and then helped put them away.”
At the pool:
“You should be proud of yourself. Turn around and look how far you swam. You swam from here to here!”
On the soccer field:
“You got the ball and you passed it to your teammate and he made the goal!”
At home:
“Your room had clothing all over the floor and now all that clothing is hung up or in the laundry basket!”
Praising kids is an art but it is the best way to build their self-esteem.
Let us know what you think. Leave your comments below.
One Response
In Montessori, we call this “points of interest”, and we introduce them to parents as way to highlight details, instead of using empty praise. From one of the handouts we give parents of toddlers at LePort Schools (www.leportschools.com):
Points of interest are helpful for bringing a child’s attention to what he doesn’t yet see.
They are a valuable tool for changing behavior, improving a skill, or offering praise (much more meaningful praise than “Good job!”).
For examples…
→ To change behavior:
“When you speak with a gentle voice, I am very eager to hear what you have to say.”
→ To improve a skill:
“When your bed is made neatly, the covers lie smooth and flat.”
→ As praise: “When you pour carefully with both hands, not one drop spills!”
In effect, points of interest are the facts that we want to bring to a child’s consciousness.
You may be surprised to discover that pointing out facts can be an indirect, yet effective, way to transform a child’s behavior. Because young children are in the process of perfecting themselves, they respond well to points of interest.