As I mentioned in my last post, I am really enjoying this book, “The Optimistic Child” by Martin Seligman.
One of the important elements in developing resilience is to understand that our problems are usually not permanent. They are usually of a temporary nature. They will not last forever
Permanence is considered to be the most important dimension for resilience. Once we believe that problems are usually temporary and that most problems have solutions it is easier to manage them. They don’t seem insurmountable. If we view problems with the mindset that they are permanent and that we have no options in dealing with them, adults and children alike feel hopeless. We are more likely to give up and become depressed.
To help kids, we need to first understand our own thinking patterns as adults. When a problem occurs, how do we view it? For example, if you did not get that job that you wanted, do you think that your problem is permanent?
“I can’t believe it. Something must be wrong with me. I will never get any good jobs.”
Or do you think that it is temporary, and that you can make a difference:
“That’s too bad. I am pretty upset. You know what, I am not going to let this get me down. I am going to brush up on my interviewing skills and make some more phone calls starting tomorrow!”
Thinking that our problems are temporary actually helps us also know that we have control over our lives and we can improve ourselves.
Once we understand this important concept in the resilient mindset we can teach it to our kids. It is an asset for our kids to have these attitude in regards to their little and big problems in life.
Seligman suggests using cartoons to teach this concept to children. I am all about cartoons for a teaching tool. Here are 2 that I adapted from his book:
