As I have mentioned in a previous post I am in the midst of doing research for a CEU course about promoting resilience in our kids. There is much information on this topic. I highly recommend the website reachinginreachingout.com. They have wonderful materials on helping children development a resilient mindset.
Teaching kids to persevere and keep trying when the going gets tough is an important factor in promoting resilience. The ability to keep trying when we don’t succeed aids us in developing solution oriented thinking patterns.
We all know stories of successful people who failed many times before reaching their goals. Making mistakes and using them as opportunities is an essential part of learning how to cope, grow and finally succeed.
It is important to teach children that to achieve expertise in any area, it takes many little steps and a lot of practice.
When children are having trouble with any given task it is crucial that we encourage them to keep on trying. When a baby is learning to walk we clap and smile for each step that they take, no matter if they fall. We need to have the same attitude when our children learn to pour milk and spill, do a puzzle and get frustrated, start a homework task and find themselves overwhelmed.
Here are some ways we can encourage our kids to keep on trying:
1. Have some pat phrases that you can use to to help kids persevere:
“You can do it. Keep at it.”
“You should be proud of yourself. Even though you fell, you brushed yourself off and got right back on your bike.”
“Let’s see how much of this puzzle you can do”
“How about trying again? You can do it!”
“You look discouraged, what would help you keep on going?”
2.Have some pat phrases to help them manage their mistakes:
“If we learn from mistakes, then they are not really mistakes.”
“Mistakes are a great way to learn new ways to do things.”
“We don’t get in trouble for mistakes in this house.”
3.Encourage children to enjoy the process:
“Tying shoes can be tricky. It might take a lot of practice to figure it out. Each time you try it you will be one step closer to learning how to tie your shoes.”
“You spelled 8 of your spelling words, you have 2 more to go.”
4.Role model:
“I finally learned how to bake bread. I kept on trying different recipes and talking to my friend who has been baking for years. I am glad I kept on trying!”
“The printer was broken and I was getting so frustrated. I tried to turn it off, I pressed the help button and then I added a new ink cartridge. That was it. I am glad I kept on trying to fix it!”
5. Point out people who keep on trying:
“I had one student today, who had such a hard time with fractions. He asked me for help and I reviewed it with him again. He went home and asked his Dad to review it with him and then he did some practice questions. He got a 90 on his test. He really kept at it until he understood!”
Teaching kids to keep on trying and to persevere is one of the most important gifts we can give our kids.
Adapted from reachinginreachingout.com