You’re not just her dad. You are your daughter’s template for what men are like and how she should be expected to be treated. From infancy, a father becomes a girl’s guidepost for all things men. What she learns from you she will assume to be true of most men. How you treat her mother, how you deal with other people in your life, and the integrity with which you live will be the blueprint from which your daughter works.
It is a heavy responsibility, but not one without rewards. WebMD says that proactive parents empower their daughters, meaning that you have the ability to guide her from a little girl to a confident woman. Life with your daughter is going to consist of little lessons, many taught when it appears that she’s not listening. Take the opportunity to teach your daughter to be safe. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
Be Grateful
There are few things in life that make a human being more unhappy than focusing on what they don’t have. Teach your daughter to consciously make note of all the things in her life that are wonderful and to be appreciative of what she does have. Help your daughter become involved in a charitable organization that helps those who truly do not have the things they need. It may be a shoe drive for needy children or a 5K walk for a particular disease. Whatever you do, keep the focus on the value of gratitude and giving.
Be Safe
Make it clear to your daughter that while there are a lot of great people in the world, there are also those who might not have her best interests at heart. Tell her it’s because you love her that you want her to make the kinds of decisions that will help keep her safe. That may mean installing parental controls on her computer, monitoring her music downloads and not allowing boys in the house when you’re not there to supervise. Talk to her about what constitutes an inappropriate text and how there are men who look for young girls to “talk” to on the Internet or in a shopping mall. Let her know that she can call you any time if she feels unsafe.
Integrity Counts
Children are perceptive. She will notice if you forget to pay for the water bottles in the bottom of your shopping cart or complain about having to help your mother-in-law paint her fence. It’s those snippets in time that will teach her what kind of man you are. The best way to teach your daughter about integrity is to live in such a way that it feels natural to her to do the right thing.
You’re Important
Girls are bombarded with media images of who they ‘should be’ and what they ‘should look like.’ The best defense for a girl who compares herself with media-generated images is a father who instills in her how important she is. Make it a point to find things about her that are remarkable and help her see them. She may be a wonderful artist, great soccer player or an amazing friend. Catch her in her finest moments and remind her how proud you are of the person she is.
The Internet Isn’t Anonymous
Teach your daughter how to protect her identity. Encourage your daughter to protect her personal information — including address, age and any other identifying information. It would be wonderful to live a world where we didn’t have to worry about identity theft, but that just isn’t the case. No matter how private the instant message seems or how secure the social media site feels, the Internet isn’t anonymous. You need to protect your identity, while at the same time making sure they protect theirs.
Setbacks are Temporary
Children aren’t able to brush disappointment off in quite the same way most adults do. For example, a girl who’s not popular in high school may feel like those few years are representative of the rest of her life, or that the basket she failed to make during a game makes her a loser. It’s all so “big” in their minds and every setback feels like it has eternal meaning. Teach your daughter that with every setback comes a lesson and that what she’s feeling is not permanent. If you believe it will help, share a disappointing experience that you’ve had and what you learned from it. The point is to help her understand that short-term failures and successes are universal and she’s in good company.