Sibling Rivalry is one of the toughest things we need to deal with as parents. Kids often fight and they often complain:
“I always have to do everything!” or “Why don’t you ask, Sam? Why do you always ask me?”
Kids have a running tab in their head of who has done what. Each child has different ideas of what they consider fair and just. So even though you may tell Sara to sweep because Eli just helped you with the baby, Sara, might remember that she swept last time and really it should be Eli’s turn.
You don’t want to get embroiled in trying to remember who did what. Don’t play the judge and jury game or be the referee. It is exhausting and frustrating to try and decipher each kids complicated and unwritten sense of what they deem fair. Instead you can say:
“I am trying to make the jobs as fair as possible.”
“Sometimes you will do more and sometimes he will do more. That is how it works.”
“We are a team and we work together.”
“Right now we need cooperation to get a job done. We will discuss the fairness of the situation later on.”
Finding ways to manage Sibling Rivalry can be a challenge. Taking yourself out of the game can go a long way in making it easier.