A major part of your life as a parent will be spent talking to your kids. The way we talk to our children will affect the way they talk to us and to the other people in their lives. Words enable us to either make or break our relationship with our children.
Here are 7 simple tips to help you talk to your kids and parent in the most effective way possible:
1. Make eye contact:
Children need to have all their senses engaged in order to really listen to what you are saying. Try to get down to their level and look them in the eye when you are talking to them. This will help gain their attention. They don’t have to maintain the eye contact for more than a few seconds because that can get to intense for children. To encourage eye contact you can say, “Eli, I need your eyes.”
2. Keep it simple:
Young children can only comprehend sentences with 2-4 words. Teenagers appreciate a parent being brief in their directives instead of long drawn out lectures. Keeping your communications short and sweet will help your kids obey.
3. Say “I want”:
When you ask your child to do something instead of barking a direct command like, “Get over here!” you can try, “I want you to come here for a minute.” Children then don’t feel like they are being bossed around and they will more likely comply.
4. Write a note:
>Writing a child a note is a great way to gain your child’s cooperation or to just connect. Instead of telling your child what their chores will be on the weekend make them a list. Children love notes in their lunch boxes or an “I love you” on their pillow if you are going out for the evening.
5. Use a quiet voice:
When your child is angry don’t go head to head with him. Try to keep your voice neutral. The louder your child cries the softer your reply. It doesn’t help matters to have two people yelling.
6. Serenity Now:
>Never try to engage your child when you are mad or upset. You will usually regret what you said later. Teaching moments should be reserved for when both the parent and child are calm. You can say, “I am to upset to talk right now. Let me take a few minutes to catch my breathe and calm down.”
7. Have catchy phrases to enforce limits:
In my son’s preschool class, his teacher had a few rhymes to help reinforce the rules she set in her classroom. One of her favorites was, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” Another great one, “If you hit you must sit.”