In our last post, I collaborated with Brochie Weinberg, MS, LPCC ,and we started to answer the following question:
My 7 -year old daughter is switching to a new class this year with a new group of girls, some of whom she’s already met over summer camp. The last class she was in was comprised of more bossy girls and she’d come home telling me the girls were hurtful or would not play with her. I’m hopeful the new class will be a better fit, as the girls are more friendly and less competitive. By nature my daughter is more sweet and thoughtful. She is very bright and less of a leader, more of a follower type. She is nervous and anxious about making the switch. Do you have any advice as to how I can help her acclimate to her new class? Any ideas on how to help her forge new friendships? I’ve already arranged play dates with a handful of the new girls, but so far she has had one play date. As a mother, what tools can I give my daughter before entering the first day?
-From a mother who only wants to see her kids happy
In our first post we discussed how important it is to just listen to our daughters without jumping in to give advice. Here are some more ideas on how to help our daughter’s manage social situations.
2. Teach kids what it means to be a good friend:
We want to teach kids the basics of choosing good friends and being a good friend. The best way to teach our children anything is indirectly, through role modeling and when we are calm.
People who choose good friends are looking for steady confidantes, people who like you for who you really are. Good friends are those that value you for yourself. Good friends also share common interests.
As adults we also know that it’s okay for friends to make some mistakes but we also know that if you are constantly feeling put down or controlled then that friendship should end.
So how can we teach this to our kids in a way that they can hear it?
We can use “talk out loud technique”. When our kids are in earshot we can let them over hear our conversations with our spouse or even ourselves. (It is always best if we don’t use names)
To teach children how to be good friends:
“I was talking to a friend today and she was really down in the dumps. I am going to meet her this week for a cup of coffee, spend some time with her…”
“One of my friends, is going through some medical tests, I am going to bring her over a lasagna..”
To teach them that a friendship might not be a good one for them:
“I feel as if this one friend is taking advantage of me. She is always asking me for help and is never able to reciprocate. I might need to rethink this friendship..”
“This one friend that I have always seems to criticize me, my hair, my clothes, I know that people who do that are insecure about themselves. At any rate, I think I need to say something to her.”
In our next post we will discuss some more ways to help our daughters manage social situations more effectively.
Want to hear more great advice from Brochie Weinberg, MS, LPCC?
Join us for a highly informative lecture:
Why Do Our Children Worry So Much: Helping Children Work Through Their Anxiety
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
7:30 PM
Stonehill Auditorium
Mandel JCC
Cleveland, Ohio
Make sure to sign up here!
Why Do Our Children Worry So Much: Helping Children Work Through Their Anxiety
Brochie Weinberg received her M.S. at NorthEastern University in School Counseling and her LPCC, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor at John Caroll University . Brochie is a clinical counselor at A+ Solutions and provides individual counseling for children, adolescents and adults. She is also a school – based therapist at Yavne Junior High School where she provides individual and group counseling, classroom guidance, teacher training and faculty consultations. She runs social skills programs and creative workshops for preschool age children as well as adolescents on the topics of self esteem, handling emotions, friendship skills and study skills. Brochie works with children and adults with a variety of issues. In her personable approach, she draws from a wide range of theoretical orientations to creatively meet the needs of each client.
To set up your appointment with Brochie Weinberg, call our offices at 216-896-0111