Teaching Teachers: Separation Anxiety and Freeing Children From Roles

preschool teacher teaching kids about globe

Last night Courtney Evenchik and I ran our fourth and last workshop based on the book, “How to Talk So Kids Can Learn” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, for teachers at a local pre-school in Cleveland.  We covered 2 different topics, Separation Anxiety: Helping Children Separate From Their Parents and Freeing Children From Roles.

In the third week of the workshop we had discussed how to problem solve with pre-schoolers. At the start of this week’s workshop we invited the teachers to discuss what happened when they used their new skills.

One teachers used problem solving techniques to help a child who did not like the lunch served to come to the table. Another teacher successfully used problem solving techniques to help a child who had trouble sharing toys with others.

This week we discussed ways to help children separate from their parents at the start of the school day.

We learned that:

  • It is a process
  • Children need to learn and develop trust with their teacher
  • Children need time to get used to the new class environment
  • Parents dropping off their children and running out can cause issues for kids and teachers

Children who are not given the time they need to adjust to school may:

  • Have a harder time acclimating to school
  • Have a harder time building trust with adults
  • Have a harder time making friends

We also discussed how to free children from their roles to improve their most difficult behavior promote self-esteem. We spoke mostly about the negative roles that children may have been placed in, clumsy, annoying, impulsive. But children can also be placed in positive roles that create pressure or high expectations, like being brainy or responsible.

In order to free children from their roles we can:

1. Give the student a new picture of himself:
2. Put student in situations where they can see themselves differently
3. Let students overhear you say something positive about them.
4. Model the behavior you would like to see
5. Be a storehouse for your student’s special moments
6. When your student acts according to the old label, state your feelings or expectations.

It was a great class. We were very impressed with the knowledge, warmth and care shown by the teachers in this preschool.

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