I am looking over all my work from this last year. One of the great books that I read was “The Curse Of The Good Girl” by Rachel Simmons. It is a fascinating read and I highly recommend it.
The book was chock full of information on how to help girls manage best in the complicated world of friendship, school, and home. Many of her suggestions, tips and techniques struck a chord, but I found this one particularly interesting:
Simmons (2009) put together a step-by-step process to help girls overcome their fear of taking risks:
1. Define your goal
2. Determine your current comfort zone – what can you do now without fear?
3. Write down your risk zone — a goal that is difficult and stressful, but manageable
4. Write down your danger zone — something you believe is impossible to do.
Simmons gives an example of a girl who wants to be able to share more in class even if she is unsure of the answer. On the top of the paper, they wrote her goal; then they identified her comfort zone, risk zone, and danger zone.
They then decided on an action that would bring her closer to her goal, something that she felt she could do without too much stress. They decided that she would share her opinion with her friends in a small group project. Then she wrote down something that she felt would bring her closer to her goal but felt impossible — raising her hand in class even if she didn’t know the right answer.
This zone exercise is a great way to break down big goals into small parts – determine what is truly scary and what can be tried. The more times she spent in her risk zone, the more comfortable she would feel there and then eventually she might move into the danger zone. In this way, the danger zone begins to look more approachable.
Girls can use this diagram to help them with personal goals, such as being more outgoing with their friends, talking about their feelings, making eye contact or being less concerned with what others think.
I don’t think this information is just for girls. I know that I can relate to this because when I first started Parentingsimply.com, I had to overcome my fears of taking risks. I was doing something new, that I knew very little about and I was putting myself out there, every day. I wish I would have read this years ago. I am such a visual person so I think the diagram would have been a tremendous help.
I hope this helps us all overcome some of our “I can never do that!” fears and move forward to live our lives to the fullest.
Did you miss our A+ Solutions “Back To School” webinar.
Don’t worry you can listen to the recording where Favi Becker,Psy. S. NCSP teaches you all about making sure your kids are ready for the new school year. Let’s start the school year off on the right foot!
Click here to get the link:
Ready, Set, Go: Start The School Year Off Right!