Did you ever wish that you could say you truly loved the journey of parenthood? If this is a struggle for you, read on. I want you to feel empowered with the best information on social and communication skills so that you can be that confident parent and find joy in the parenting journey.
Avoid the Comparison Trap
Many of us fall into the trap of comparing our kids with other kids or worse, even their siblings. Not only that, but we should never compare ourselves to other parents. We’ve got to avoid negative thought patterns such as “If only I parented like Sara, and had kids like Eli, everything would be great!”
Haim Ginott, an eminent psychologist in the 1960s and 70’s addressed this issue in his parenting classes.
One mother was feeling bad because her child had asked her to volunteer to be the class mother and she told him no. She complained to Dr. Ginott: “What’s the matter with me? Why can’t I be like other mothers?”
Here’s his response:
“A question like that only confuses. It presupposes that we should feel like other people. But we don’t. We’re not other people. We’re ourselves. You are you. We come back to the same thing again. We can only feel what we feel. And we really feel differently – each one of us does- not only about being class mother, but about everything. One mother loves to bake with her children, and another can’t stand having them underfoot in the kitchen: one loves gathering the little ones around to read aloud, another shudders at the thought. We each have our strengths and our limitations.”
Avoiding comparisons, and working from our own strengths helps us parent confidently. As parents, appreciating ourselves for who we are will allow us to give freely to our kids. It can serve as a model to our kids to hone in on their talents and dreams and work from their own strengths and intuition.
Find Your Parenting Voice
Being a confident, assertive parent doesn’t mean being loud and angry- it’s learning how to use a calm and confident tone when speaking to your kids. Successful communication is the basis of being a confident parent and will help you be better prepared to manage difficult situations and conversations, creating a more peaceful home life.
Know Your Triggers
We all have them. Some situations can set off angry exchanges such as yelling at our kids which never ends well. Understanding what your triggers are beforehand will help you to prepare for them when they do happen with a calm and appropriate response.
Sometimes it might feel easier to not rock the boat and just give in, but this rarely works for the long term. Growing up in an uncertain world, your kids need to know that you are going to step up and take charge with confidence.
Find your parenting voice, build your confidence, and start Parenting Simply in my Parenting Simply 101Â course.
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