I am looking forward to June 11, our last class in our hugely successful Monthly Tele-seminar series. We are ending the year off with a bang. Jenny Krainess, our speaker, is an outstanding teacher and parent educator. She has taught the Nurtured Heart Approach to countless parents. But most important, she uses the principles at home with her children.
Her classes are lively and full of important practical information on how to raise your children right. Particularly, difficult children.
The Nurtured Heart Approach takes positive psychology and applies it to parenting. As parents we have a tendency to focus on our children’s negative behavior while overlooking the good. Nutured Heart instructors, teach us that we are doing a great disservice to ourselves and our children. We are inadvertently reinforcing negative behavior. We are teaching our children to react negatively to the world and we are missing opportunities for fostering good behavior.
For example, when a child whines the whole time they are cleaning up their room, we, as parents, focus on the whining instead of the fact they are actually cleaning their room. We might say:
“I can’t believed you whined the whole time. You have to stop whining every time I ask you to do something you don’t want to do….”
Instead we want to focus on the fact that they finally cleaned up. Forget about the negative behavior:
“You cleaned up your room, you didn’t want to, you were annoyed and frustrated the whole time, but you did it. You should be proud of yourself.”
Another example is when our children roll their eyes at us. We might say:
“You are so disrespectful! You need to stop rolling your eyes at me!”
Instead you can focus on the fact that he only rolled her eyes and did not speak disrespectfully:
“I know you were annoyed, I appreciate that you did not speak to me disrespectfully.”
If your child did not want to come to dinner, but came and grumbled the whole time, we might say:
“You are such a grump! This is not the way you behave at the dinner table!”
Instead we can focus on the fact that he came anyway, despite his resistance:
“I know you didn’t want to come to dinner. We really appreciate that you made the effort to join us.”
Focusing on our children’s positive behavior changes our perspective and generates a feel good atmosphere in our homes. It transforms potentially harmful and destructive interactions into positive relationship building moments. Most importantly you are modeling to your children (without lecturing) how to focus on people’s positive behavior. This is a powerful skill, one that they can use successfully in all of life’s situations.
Want to learn more about this life altering approach to parenting?
Join us, Tuesday, June 11 9-10pm EST:
Jenny Krainess: Nurtured Heart Approach: Creating Inner Wealth in Every Child
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Adina