I am currently reading the captivating book “The Optimistic Child” by Martin Seligman, the renowned father of Positive Psychology. Throughout the book, one crucial point stands out – the significance of positive role models in shaping a child’s outlook on life. Seligman emphasizes that optimistic parents are more likely to raise optimistic children, and cultivating an optimistic mindset is key to handling life’s challenges. Moreover, parents who handle adversity positively and flexibly unconsciously instill these vital skills in their children.
Be a Role Model
Seligman urges us to be more conscious of our actions and openly discuss our thought processes with our children as we face everyday problems. By doing so, children witness positive thought patterns in action, helping them learn to cope with stress and adversity effectively.
Illustrating Positive Thinking
For instance, suppose your washing machine breaks down. You can express your thoughts aloud in this manner: “I am really upset that the washing machine broke down. I guess I am thinking this is a huge problem, and I am never going to find a repairman. Our clothing will be all dirty for weeks. But I need to calm down and think of solutions. I can call the repairman to find out when he is coming. Then, I’ll reach out to some neighbors and see if I can use their washing machine until then. Oh! I should also find out where our nearest Laundromat is…”
By speaking in this way, children gain a clear understanding of positive thought processes that aid in handling everyday stresses.
More Examples
Here are additional examples of positive self-talk:
“I can’t find my wallet. Okay, let me check the car floor; maybe it fell out of my purse there. It’s not there. This is frustrating, but I must stay calm. Let me retrace my steps and recall where I last used it… that should help.”
“Oh no, I forgot to buy sugar for the cake I was going to make! I really don’t want to have to go out to the store again. I know, I can call Sara, our neighbor; I’m sure she has some. Thank goodness for good neighbors!”
Empowering Children to Thrive
Talking aloud helps children realize that they have various options when facing adversity, big or small. They learn firsthand that stressful situations can be managed calmly and efficiently.
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Interested in learning further techniques for successful communication with your strong-willed child? Sign up for my Parenting Simply 101 class, where you’ll find proven strategies to foster a positive parent-child relationship!