Does your child always seem to have some sort of problem every time you try to leave?
Does your child come home from school in a bad mood?
Do you battle with your child to get his coat on?
Your child probably has trouble with transitions.
Adaptability is the ability to make smooth transitions. Some children and even adults have a hard time moving from one activity to another. These children don’t like being rushed and balk at new and unexpected plans.
Change is difficult, and kids can have trouble shifting gears. They don’t like surprises, even good ones. Parents can become exhausted when dealing with a child who has issues with adaptability.
We can do three simple things to help ourselves help our children who have difficulties with transitions:
1. Give them words to describe their feelings
• “I don’t like change.”
• “I like to be organized.”
• “I need to know what to expect.”
• “I like routines and plans.”
2. Identify transitions.Â
Use the word “transition” to describe to your child what is happening. Train them to look for transition times.
“We are leaving for the doctor in a few minutes.”
Followed by:
“We are going to stop playing with our dolls, get our coats on, and then get into the car. That will be three transitions, stop playing with dolls, get on our coat and get into the car.”
3. Affirm their feelings while they are moving through a transition
“Rushing is stressful for you.”
“You weren’t expecting that.”
“Surprises are too much.”
“It is hard to leave.”
Teaching a child how to manage transitions will give them the confidence needed to manage their personality and temperament. It will also give you the relief you need when transitioning with your child.
Greene, R. (2005). The Explosive Child. NY: Harper Collins.
Sheedy Kurcinka, M. (2003). Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook. NY. Harper Collins.