Hands down, the biggest complaint that I hear from parents is that their child is not listening to them. Every child communicates differently, and this will lead to communicating with each of your children on their level and based on their needs. Instead of getting frustrated, we need to understand the reasons why our children aren’t listening- kids have a lot going on and we need to know when to change how we communicate our needs to them.
Listening is Hard Work
Listening requires concentration and mental energy to attend to your surroundings and discern the important messages that are being conveyed. Adults who need to sit in meetings and lectures can commiserate.
Sometimes, after a long day at school, kids come home very tired. If your child has done a fair amount of listening and you are asking them to do some more, you probably will not get the cooperative responses you are looking for.
It is helpful if at the end of the day to cut our children some slack. Make sure they have some downtime to refresh themselves before they have to start listening again.
Are They Too Tired to Listen?
As we mentioned above, at the end of the day, children may not listen because they have reached their limits. It is also difficult to get children to listen when they are immersed in their own activities. Children can get so caught up in their play, reading, video games or TV and they honestly don’t hear you.
At these times, it is best if you get down to their eye level, give them a tap on the shoulder before you make any requests.
Keep Your Expectations Reasonable
You want to make sure that you are asking children to complete tasks that are age-appropriate. Children may feel overwhelmed by big jobs that require a lot of steps such as cleaning their rooms or the car. They often do not know how to begin or how to proceed. They also do not like to do the boring mundane tasks of life, brushing teeth, getting dressed, or taking baths.
Teaching kids how to clean their room or car, what needs to be done, step by step, can help them move past this. Making boring tasks fun can also do wonders.
Is this a behavior issue or something deeper?
What we perceive as non-compliant or strong-willed behavior of a child who won’t listen can also just be a child who is struggling and on overload. Children with auditory processing issues and other language disorders have a harder time than other children but modifications to the home or classroom can improve their listening skills.
Any child can be taught to listen and any parent can work on their communication skills to help their children get there. This is why I created my exclusive email course: 7 Ways to Help Your Kids Listen in 7 Days. In this FREE email course, you will receive practical and proven ways to help get your children to listen to you better. Stop feeling frustrated and start Parenting Simply– sign up today!