In our previous posts we spoke about the philosophy behind offering children choices. We discussed why parent’s should offer children choices and how it benefits both adults and children.
Just a quick review:
- Being independent and autonomous is a basic human need.
- Kids want their parent’s to take care of them but they want to be independent too.
- Children start to exercise this need for independence around age 2 (the cause for the terrible twos).
- When parents communicate with their kids they need to take their child’s need for autonomy seriously.
- Parents should help their kids feel in charge within a safe framework
- Offering children 2 positive choices helps kids gain a sense of independence and security because parents have structured the choices.
- Parents gain because they have determined the choices and choices help children focus on the task at hand.
- Choices help children exercise their decision making skills, builds their self respect and self-esteem.
There is another way to use this great parenting technique of offering choices. Sometimes adults get so serious about their role as parents they forget to lighten up. When we offer our children choices we can use this time to bond and help our kids comply with a little bit of fun. When we offer our children two positive choices we can use our sense of humor and indulge in some goofiness. Kids are immediately engaged when their parents initiate laughter and silliness. Children love to giggle and be amused. Here is an example of how one father used his sense of the ridiculous to turn a normally tense situation around:
Instead of:
Try this:
Having fun while offering your child choices is one of the best ways to parent and connect with your kids.
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