Parents are always looking for encouragement on how to manage sibling rivalry. In a recent post we spoke about how important it is to “look for the good” in your children’s seemingly annoying interactions.<\/p>\n

We can take this one step further. Becky Bailey in her book, \u201cEasy To Love, Difficult to Discipline\u201d encourages parents to assume that the child is behaving with goodness instead of reacting negatively and assuming their child is misbehaving. When we attribute negative motives to our children\u2019s behavior we place them in a situation where there only recourse is to attack or defend themselves and exhibit more oppositional behavior. Bailey comments, \u201cWhen the attack\/defend process gets rolling communication and connection break down.\u00a0….When you learn to attribute positive intent to other people, you possess a powerful skill. It is the skill you need to transform opposition into cooperation.\u201d<\/p>\n

Here are some examples on how you can \u00a0put this principle into practice:<\/p>\n

\u201cShe made a face at you and you ignored her.\u201d (Even if she was about to complain)<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou were angry at her and you just yelled at her instead of hitting her.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for letting her know that you were leaving to the bus stop. Sara, Leah wants you to know that she is starting to walk to the bus stop.\u201d (Even if she said she was leaving\u00a0 in a nasty voice)<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for telling me that Mikey is not doing his homework. Mikey, Allie is concerned that you are not doing your homework. She wants to make sure that you don\u2019t get in trouble with your teachers. Isn\u2019t that right, Allie?\u201d (You can say this even if Allie really just wanted to get Mikey in trouble with his teachers).<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI saw you lift your hand to hit him. He ran away and you did not run after him. You controlled yourself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou saw she was getting ready to hit you. Instead of hitting back you ran away. You know how to take care of yourself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe called you a dumbo and you said, \u2018I am not a dumbo I am a smarto\u2019. You stood up for yourself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Handling the challenges of sibling rivalry is tough. “Assigning positive intent”\u00a0will help you manage the difficulties in the best possible way.<\/p>\n

Join our “Sibling Rivalry” workshop: Tuesday, November 30 8-10pm EST.<\/p>\n

Sign up here:<\/p>\n

Sibling Rivalry Crash Course<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Parents are always looking for encouragement on how to manage sibling rivalry. In a recent post we spoke about how important it is to “look for the good” in your children’s seemingly annoying interactions. We can take this one step further. Becky Bailey in her book, \u201cEasy To Love, Difficult to Discipline\u201d encourages parents to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n