Remain calm.<\/strong> I know, this is common sense. But in the heat of the moment, you\u2019ll be tempted to act impulsively. Give yourself time, at least a day, to think through your options and make a decision that is well-considered, and that you\u2019re less likely to regret later.<\/p>\n

Communicate with the school.<\/strong> Call or email to set up a meeting with your school administrator and the teacher to discuss what you are hearing from your child. Stan Davis, author of Safe Schools For Everyone: Practical Strategies For Reducing Bullying and Empowering Bystanders In Bullying Prevention, recommends asking the school if the behavior you\u2019re describing is acceptable at the school. If the answer is no, then ask what the school plans to do to stop or reduce the behavior. If the answer is yes \u2013 and if you believe the behavior is unacceptable \u2013 you may need to talk with someone else in the school system.<\/p>\n

Listen.<\/strong> The Youth Voice Project is the first known large-scale research project that solicits students\u2019 perceptions about strategy effectiveness to reduce peer mistreatment in our schools. More than 13,000 teens in 31 schools have now completed the Youth Voice project survey, focusing on what works and what doesn\u2019t work. What did these youth say? That the best help is simply having an adult to listen to them, and following up to see if the behavior stopped or was continuing, and giving further advice.<\/p>\n

Stan Davis further recommends staying calm while talking with your child. \u201cIf parents show a lot of anxiety about an incident or if they \u2018grill\u2019 the child repeatedly about what has happened, they can increase young peoples\u2019 anxiety. Ask your child what he or she has already tried. This stops us from advising our children to redo things that may already have made things worse for them \u2013 or have not helped. Involving them in further brainstorming about what might work is an act of empowerment.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even when bullying behavior occurs off school grounds, such as over the internet or cell phone (including texting), it can affect your child\u2019s well-being in and ability to function at school. Keep a record. And let the school know.<\/p>\n

Nancy Willard, author of Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats: Responding To The Challenge Of Online Social Agression, Threats And Distress writes: \u201cTeens must know how to prevent becoming involved in an online risky situation, how to detect if there is some risk, and how to respond appropriately in such events. Teens also need to know how to make responsible choices based on solid values. And because they are still teens, it is important for parents to remain engaged to make sure they are making good choices.\u201d<\/p>\n

Remind yourself and your child that mean behavior is about them rather than you, and recognize that not everyone will like you. Help kids to discard their barometer of popularity. Friendship is about quality, not quantity, and if you look at it that way, every child can be popular.<\/p>\n

Although mean people are a part of life and something that we all encounter, it still does not make it right. Be realistic with your child that we may not be able to change someone else\u2019s behavior. but we can always choose to change our own.<\/p>\n

Most importantly, as parents we are #1 role model for our children. What they want from us, first and foremost, is to be there for them.<\/p>\n