I can’t believe I have to post something like this again. What a tragedy. My heart goes out to the victims in Boston. I wish that I never had to talk to my kids about bombs, guns and people who try to hurt innocent people.<\/p>\n

Here is our post on how to speak to your kids about tragic events by Amy Burzinski and Stan Davis:<\/p>\n

How do we begin to explain such horrific events to our children when we as
\nadults cannot fully comprehend them? Perhaps by beginning with the idea
\nthat there is no explanation that could ever fully allow any of us to
\nunderstand what happened.
\nWhat then can we offer to our children?
\n*The Comforts of a Safe Childhood.*
\nChildren do not need to know about adult problems. We generously protect
\nthem from knowing about our health scares, our financial problems, our
\nnormal relationship stresses. There will be time for them to know about all
\nthe problems adults face when they grow up. We may be driven to learn all
\nthe details about tragic events, yet children are often not ready to hear
\nabout these things. One parent, writing about the shootings, said that she
\nasked herself whether she wanted to tell her children about the Newtown
\ntragedy for their sake or for her own sake. She decided that it was best
\nfor them not to know. Each parent or guardian will, of course, make this
\nkind of decision in their own way. It is clear that young children can be
\nharmed by repeated exposure to news accounts, as they may believe that each
\nnews report means that another group of children has been killed. If our
\nchildren do find out about these events, we should be led by their
\nquestioning to learn what they want to know. They may want just a little
\ninformation, and may then wish to return to the everyday concerns of
\nchildhood.
\nWhen dealing with tragic events we have found the following to serve
\nas a guide in working with adults, youth and young children.
\nFirst, give some facts. Without going into graphic detail we can let
\nchildren know as many facts as they need about what happened.
\nLet children know that adults in their lives do everything they can to keep
\nthem safe and help them reflect on the safety steps we take to protect
\nthem. Mr. Rogers of childrens\u2019; TV said: \u201d When I was a boy and I would see
\nscary things in the news, my mother would say to me, \u201cLook for the helpers.
\nYou will always find people who are helping.\u201d To this day, especially in
\ntimes of \u201cdisaster. I remember my mothers\u2019 words and I am always comforted
\nby realizing that there are still so many helpers-so many caring people in
\nthis world. \u201d
\n*Nurture And Support*
\nA normal reaction may include feeling anxious and fearful that such an
\nevent could happen in their own community, in their own school. Reassure
\nchildren of what is being done to keep them safe both at home and at
\nschool. Normal reactions may also include difficulty sleeping, change in
\nappetite and\/or regression to earlier behaviors such as bedwetting,
\nthumbsucking, speaking or acting younger than their actual age. Some
\nchildren can feel more attached to a parent and or objects. These behaviors
\ncan allow one to manage the distress. On the other end, some children may
\nhave no reaction at all. This too, is normal. No matter what reactions your
\nchildren have to terrible news, this is a time to hold them more, read more
\nstories, offer comfort foods and routines, and spend more time together.
\nThose steps benefit us in these tragic times as well as our children.
\n*Exercise Discretion*
\nUse discretion in regards to how much children see via media. Post 9\/11 we
\nfound that many children and youth were further exposed to trauma by
\nrepeatedly watching images over and over again, because some believed that
\nthey were seeing a series of new events.
\nChildren and youth need to know that we want to hear what they have to say,
\nthat we are here to listen and support them. When children and youth do not
\nask, and when their actions are showing that they are concerned or
\nstressed, it is then important for us as adults to ask them what they are
\nthinking of, feeling, or what they need to know.
\nOne study by the secret service found that in 81% of school shootings at
\nleast one peer who was a friend of the perpetrator knew about the shooters
\nplans ahead of time. Seventy-nine percent of youth surveyed were peers that
\nknew of a school shooting that were not friends with the shooter but knew
\nabout him or her and possible plans. Regarding both groups, each indicated
\nthat if an adult would ask them if they knew of any plan by another peer to
\nharm, they would tell the adult.
\nWe as adults need to be proactive in supporting, asking, and listening to
\nour children and youth. We need to encourage them to speak to us if they
\nknow or even suspect potentially hurtful acts. We need to abolish the idea
\nof tattling and being a snitch so they are more likely to talk to us about
\ntheir concerns.
\nAll children will experience negative events of some type either directly
\nor indirectly so it is important for all to have positive relationships
\nwith multiple adults, with peers, to have passionate hobbies and a sense of
\nefficacy, and to be able to express themselves when sad or hurt and to find
\njoy and meaning in life. The current research on resliency supports these
\nbehaviors.
\nWe can comfort support and reassure our children through painful times.
\nStan Davis
\nWith Dr. Charisse Nixon, Stan is co-leading the Youth Voice Research
\nProject, which has collected information from more than 13,000 young
\npeople in the United States about what works and what doesn\u2019t work in
\nbullying prevention. His trainings integrate research, practical
\nexperience, specific techniques, and audience participation
\nAmy Burzinski is a clinical practitioner who has worked with adults,
\nchildren and youth for over 23 years. Ms. Burzinski provides training
\nto mental health professionals, educators, family and youth on the
\nsubject of bullying prevention, trauma and resilience. To learn more
\nabout Amy and her work you can check her website,
\nbullyingpreventioninjds.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can’t believe I have to post something like this again. What a tragedy. My heart goes out to the victims in Boston. I wish that I never had to talk to my kids about bombs, guns and people who try to hurt innocent people. Here is our post on how to speak to your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n