As we mentioned in our last few posts, when we discuss each temperament and gain an understanding of how our children work, we can learn what triggers their bad behavior, and learn to manage the feelings that overwhelm them. Knowing a child’s temperament can help us engage our children’s cooperation in a way that truly takes their personality, their strengths and weaknesses into account. Instead of finding their tough behavior frustrating we can view their actions in more positive ways.
We have already talked about the temperamental traits of introversion, extroversion, intensity, persistence, perceptiveness, adaptability and regularity. This post will highlight the temperamental trait of “Energy.”
ENERGY
(Sheedy Kurcinka, 2006)(Kranowitz, 2003)
There are people with high energy levels and low energy levels. This section focuses on high-energy children.
High-energy children have an almost desperate need to move. They need to climb, jump and run. They can run around in circles. It is painful for them to sit for long periods. Like children with an intensity temperament, you can feel high energy children when they come into the room. They are not trying to scare you when they jump off the monkey bars or wear you out with their constant motion.
Energetic adults are valued and esteemed in our society. They are athletes, can have a household of kids, and still have time to volunteer. It is a great asset.
Triggers:
• Sitting for too long
• No exercise
• Nowhere to run and play hard
Managing Their Feelings:
Give them positive words to describe themselves:
• “I’m full of energy.”
• “You like to learn by using your body.”
• “You have the energy to be a great athlete.”
• “You can accomplish many things.”
Give them words to name their feelings: (Cooke & Williams, 1987)
“Being able to move is important to you.”
“Sitting still too long is very difficult for you.”
“Sometimes you just need to touch things.”
“Traveling in a car is challenging.”
Engaging Cooperation
Plan activities where they have plenty opportunities to jump and climb and run. (Cooke & Williams, 1987 p. 128)
•
• Limit sedentary activities. If you can, provide a high-energy activity after they have had to sit for a long time.
• “Recognize that wild activity is often related to other temperamental traits such as over stimulation or too many transitions.”
Give choices: “You can tap your pencil or you can stand while you do your work.”
Problem Solving
“How long do you think you could sit for, 10 minutes, 15 minutes?”
“What kind of sign do you want to give me to show you need a break?”
Praise:
Praise them for their high energy and any time they are able to control their energy:
“I like your energy. You can jump and hop and skip.”
“You sat for a full 5 minutes; you finished your worksheet while you were sitting.”
Freeing Children from Negative Roles (Fogle & Flasher, 2004, p. 147)
They need to be freed from the following negative roles:
Wild/High energy
Crazy/Expressive, Opinionated
Out of Control/Tired
Put them in a situation where they can see themselves differently:
“Laura, you will be in charge of taking the younger children into the backyard while I finish cooking.”
Stay tuned for our next post on the temperamental trait of “First Reaction.”
References:
Sheedy Kurcinka, M. (2003). Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook. NY. Harper Collins.
Sheedy Kurcinka, M. (2006). Raising Your Spirited Child. NY. Harper Collins.
Faber, A., Mazlish, E. (1999). How To Talk So Kids Will Listen. NY: Harper Collins.