As parents, we have high expectations for ourselves.
What happens when we aren’t living up to those expectations?
It is helpful to understand your preconceived notions of what you think parenting involves or even your ideas about what constitutes a good parent. If your expectations are too high and unrealistic you will be making lots of unnecessary demands on yourself. This will contribute to feelings of inadequacy and then probably anger. So here is a possible list of unrealistic expectations that you may have that can contribute to feelings of anger:
For example:
- My kids should always look neat and clean
- My house should always be neat and clean
- Dinner needs to be served on time every night.
- Dinner needs to consist of the major food groups and my kids need to eat all of it.
- My kids should never eat processed foods
- I should always feel happy when I parent
- I should never feel frustrated and angry with my kids. If I do I am a bad parent.
- I should love everything about family life.
- I should use all opportunities to stimulate my children
- I should only use cloth diapers
- I don’t use cloth diapers or make my own baby food. I should feel guilty about this.
- If my kids behave I am a good parent. If they don’t behave I am a bad parent.
So, if you think that your children should always look neat and clean,(you might not even be aware that you have this expectation) you will be fighting a lot of battles with your kids. There will be lots of anger. If you think that every moment you are with your child you should try to stimulate and educate them, you will be pretty frustrated with yourself when you are tired, annoyed, and low on patience.
So, take a few minutes.
Are your expectations of your parenting realistic or are they unattainable?
It is important to develop a more realistic picture of what makes a good parent, and what that means for YOU and your family.