As I said in a previous post, working with kids to solve the little and big domestic problems is a great alternative to accusing, giving commands and punishing kids.
Here is another story on how this works:
Our family laptop computer that we keep on the desk in the kitchen was not working. It does get used a lot everyday. Not only that, we take it on trips and when the kids are sick they use it as a DVD player. We were all pretty unhappy about it. I took it to the Apple store. The technician shook his head as he told me that liquid had gotten into the battery. The cover was damaged which probably resulted from the computer falling on a hard surface, which meant that there was probably serious issues with the hard drive. Then he said it would cost $800 to fix.
I was visibly upset. He then took it into the back to check it and came out and said that since it was under warranty he would send it out to be fixed and it wouldn’t cost me a thing! But this was only a one time courtesy because of all the damage. I was very relieved. He warned us about lugging the computer around and keeping drinks far away from our kitchen desk.
As I left the store, I thought about what I should tell my kids.
Blame would not work:”You guys never take care of the computer and look at what almost happened!”
I would never be able to follow through with punishing them, “You guys are never touching the computer again!”
I also did not feel like acting as a army general, “No drinks, don’t touch the computer, no you can’t take it into the family room.”
So I did what any self-respecting parent educator would do, I called a brainstorming session at dinner.
I told them the story and I said asked them what they thought we should do to make sure that the computer is taken care of properly.
This is what they come up with themselves:
1. Don’t ever eat or drink near the computer!
2. The computer always stays on the desk in the kitchen and it should not be moved.
3. The only reason it should be moved is if one of us are sick, so that we can watch our itune videos on the couch. If we do bring it into the family room we can’t hold it on our laps to watch, we need to put it on the coffee table (a flat surface).
I was pretty impressed with what their solutions. The kids have been very good about taking care of the computer.
Guess who is the one who forgets and brings drinks near the computer?
ME!